Graduation

Well here we are.  In T-8 days I will be graduating from undergrad.  Today, I'm feeling a sense of deja vu from my very first day, as I am once again curled up in the fetal position on my bed.  Partially because I just really love to sleep and partially because the reality of what is to come in the next week is starting to actually break through my conscious mind.  I wrote my very first blog post my first night of college as I sat in my dorm room having anxiety stomach pains, pretending I wasn't in my room so people wouldn't talk to me, and sobbing uncontrollably like a big baby.  At the end of that post I said, "They say these will be the best four years of my life. I guess we will see."  My four years are up now, and I'm still no closer to finding out if that statement is true.  Honestly, I'm going to have to live a lot longer so I have something to compare it to!  But what I can tell you is that these past four years will be the years I never forget.  When I look back at the girl I was just four short years ago, I see someone so different from myself.  Sure I still have an anxious stomach, and I still get insecure, I still really like to hang out by myself sometimes, and cheese is still my favorite food.  But that girl crying in my freshman dorm room is not the same girl typing this blog.  Who would have guessed that the shy girl from high school would go on to start a suicide prevention walk on campus, and join a service sorority, and then become president of that sorority?  Who would guess that she would perform in a lip syncing contest twice in front of an entire auditorium, or participate in a fraternity beauty pageant, or be nominated as a candidate for homecoming queen?  To tell you the truth, I didn't.  I never saw myself doing any of those things.  And sometimes I just have to laugh because I have no idea how I got myself into any of it!  But I think the truth is, I just did it.  I said yes to things, even when I wasn't completely confident in myself. I went after the things that I wanted, sometimes hesitantly, but always with passion and drive.  And what did it result in?  Four years packed full of funny, amazing, inspiring, difficult but totally worth it memories that I will never forget.  Amazing friends, that may move far away, but will still always be close to my heart.  An incredible boyfriend that I love like crazy.  A new found passion that inspired me to continue my education past undergrad.  And knowledge that will guide me for the rest of my life.  So was it worth it?  Absolutely.  Were these the "best four years of my life?"  That is still to be determined.  But I do know, that I will hold onto the memories I made here for the rest of my life and I will cherish them forever.