Cargo Pants

Let's all give a warm welcome to Rachel, Brooke and the other Chloe.  Tonight they told me they read my blog so that means they get a shout out.  Honestly, that is a pretty big deal.  Now the three other people who read my blog know who you are.  There should probably be confetti or a trophy or something.  That is how big of a deal this is...  So, I know I already wrote a blog about the dreaded V-day.  (Which for the record does not stand for Velcro Day, although that sounds a lot more entertaining... Can you imagine everyone wearing Velcro outfits all day?  If you think about it, Velcro suits could probably bring people closer together more efficiently than chocolates and diamond earrings.)  Did that just get weird?  Anyway, I know my last blog was about Valentine's Day.  But it literally IS Valentine's Day right now.  I mean we are only an hour and eighteen minutes in but still.  So this one right here, is going to be about love.  I have never actually been in love so you may be asking yourself, "Self, why should we listen to what she has to say about love if she's never 'been in it'?"  Well, that is a weird expression first of all.  And as my research methods professor would point out, that is about as dumb as Dr. Phil writing a diet book.  Which now that I write it down is super offensive...  But whatever.  Tonight I was at a Death by Chocolate party with my sorority sisters.  I told you we get chocolate crazy during DWIISAFYTBDPGQYSO! (That was a reference to my other blog.  If you didn't understand it, you clearly aren't a true fan...)  But at said party, we watched the movie Valentine's Day (fitting), and there is this scene with Ashton Kutcher in cargo pants.  My first thought, "He is currently dating my celebrity girl crush Mila Kunis." My second thought, "He is extremely attractive."  My third, and best thought, "I would marry that man even if he wears cargo pants.  Plus with all those pockets there is so much room to store all of our love!!"  And that is when I realized that despite the fact that cargo pants are super out of style, I need to find a man who wears them.  Because clearly, he is storing all his love in those pockets.  Ten billion pockets= ten billion loves for me.  Logic.  But seriously, as you celebrate Valentine's Day today(or actively fight against it) try to share love with everyone around you.  Not just your significant others, but everyone.  And share as much love as could fit in the multiple, efficient, probably-could-hold-a-human-child-sized pockets of a tacky pair of cargo pants.  Also, if for some reason you have a velcro suit, you should wear it.  I want Velcro Day to be real.  Let's make it happen.

Valentine's Day: A Conspiracy

First of all, I wanted to congratulate you on surviving the Apocalypse.  I know it was touch and go there for a while but we did it.  We survived a day that was literally just like every other day we have lived!  Anyway, now it is February.  Do you know what that means? Well it means being back to school.  It means that it is still cold here in Indiana.  And it means Valentine's Day.  Or as I like to refer to it, Day Where it is Socially Acceptable for you to be Disgustingly Publicly Gushy With Your Significant Other (DWIISAFYTBDPGQYSO for short).  I don't think that name will stick.  It's a little wordy...  February also means that all those New Year resolutions are starting to fade into the past as distant memories.  I like to refer to that as "the gym gets less crowded."  But back to Valentine's Day.  A day that you either totally love, or totally hate with the fire of one thousand suns.  If I am being honest with you all, which I always am, then I have to admit that Valentine's Day and I do not necessarily get along.  I have never had that "special" Valentine's Day that people talk about.  It normally consists of me getting a box of chocolates from my parents, going to the basement, and watching RomComs while simultaneously devouring every chocolate in the box.  Picture Scooby Doo shoving a stack of sandwiches in his mouth but replace him with me and sandwiches with chocolate.  I'm not proud of it.  Which reminds me of a question.  Why is it that we become so chocolate obsessed during Valentine's Day?  Here is the only logical explanation I could come up with.  First, Harry Potter is not fiction, it is real life.  Second, Valentine's Day must really be some kind of day where Dementors are allowed to roam around the Muggle world, so us Muggles just have a spell put on us to make us want chocolate so we don't have the side effects of encountering a Dementor!  (Because everyone knows chocolate is like Advil in that situation.)     If I lost you there, I am sorry.  I had to go on a quick nerd Harry Potter tangent.  But I am back now.  So I guess what I am failing to actually say is this:  For those of you with significant others, Congratulations.  Someone likes you.  I mean "like" likes you.  That is great.  Have fun holding hands, and giving each other eskimo kisses and eating dinner by candlelight while Joshua Bell plays sweet violin solos in your ears, gazing into each others eyes and into each others souls.  (Should I write romance novels?)  But for those of you without dates for Valentine's Day, which I will admit bitterly includes myself, do not fret.  Because presents and chocolates and fancy dinners are not what really define people's love for you.  What does define it?  Someone asking how your day has been.  A family member posting a funny video on your Facebook.  Friends fueling your "Sons of Anarchy" addiction by watching it with you marathon style.  Random people reading your blog.  Any number of things really!  Even continuing to hang out with someone despite the fact that they make up Harry Potter scenarios to explain real life situations, and loving them for it.  And if all else fails, know this: I, among so many other people, love you to pieces.  So all you out there, have a happy Valentine's Day. (in a few days of course.)